Why We Judge Others and How to Overcome This Sinful Tendency.

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Hello everyone. This blog post is about a common and hurtful sin: the sin of judging others. Now, judgment means different things to different people. To some people, the act of expressing any moral disapproval of another way of living and/or believing, even while being done with a kind spirit and from a loving heart, is considered judgment.

To others (and I would say that nearly everyone agrees on this), a judgmental attitude is an attitude of jumping to conclusions (almost always negative ones) about the motives and insights of other people based on their behavior. This kind of attitude is also one that tends to be critical and/or condescending, presumably because the one expressing it views himself or herself as superior in some way to the one he or she is analyzing. Additionally, this attitude can also involve spitefulness. In this blog post, I am talking about the solutions to a judgmental attitude as defined by the second definition I have provided here.

I want to first admit that I have been struggling with judgmental attitudes for a significant portion of my life. God has had me on a journey of understanding and overcoming this tendency for some time. In this blog post, I am sharing the insights that I have been blessed to have gained/am blessed to be gaining along this journey.


Disclaimer: I am neither a trained nor a licensed mental health professional. Any mental-health-related things that I share in this blog post do not constitute professional mental health advice and, as such, should not be treated as professional mental health advice. I am not authorized to diagnose or treat any mental health conditions.


Here are what I believe to be some of the root causes of judgment: pride, spitefulness, impatience, and fear.

Prideful judgment: Whenever we judge out of pride, we are doing it because we believe, or at least we want to believe (sometimes due to personal insecurities), that we are better than others. We enjoy comparing ourselves with others and “proving” to ourselves, and others, how good we are. However, we tend not to feel drawn to people who desire to be the best and to be better than everyone else. This isn’t the spirit that Jesus wants us to have. This spirit does not lend to true success in life. It does not promote genuine, self-sacrificing, and caring friendships.

We need to realize that it is the path of humility that leads to a truly fulfilling life.

” When you are invited by anyone to a wedding feast, do not sit down in the best place, lest one more honorable than you be invited by him; and he who invited you and him come and say to you, ‘Give place to this man,’ and then you begin with shame to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit down in the lowest place, so that when he who invited you comes he may say to you, ‘Friend, go up higher.’ Then you will have glory in the presence of those who sit at the table with you. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 14:8-11 (NKJV)

Spiteful judgment: We humans have selfish natures. Some of us judge at times because we are jealous or bitter and want to rub into people’s faces how we feel about them. This is absolutely against God’s loving ways. His love does no ill to its neighbor. (Romans 13:10) Coveteousness, bitterness, and unforgiveness are incompatible with God’s love.

Note: If you are in an abusive situation, please do the loving thing, which is to reach out for help. Here is a resource for people in abusive situations (victims of abuse) and also for abusive people who want to change. https://www.thehotline.org/ 

Impatient judgment: It’s easy to be judgmental sometimes…a lot of the time actually. When we see others behaving in ways that annoy, irritate, repulse, or otherwise trouble us, we can sometimes get triggered and react (this kind of leads into/overlaps with “fearful judgment”). We sometimes aren’t inclined to take the time to think about what it would feel like to be in other people’s shoes. We sometimes don’t feel like exercising a spirit of compassion or forbearance while encountering these disturbing behaviors.

People have different experiences in life, different personalities, different viewpoints, and different traumas. We are all so complex…and fragile. Things that are easy for us to deal with or overcome are far from easy for others to deal with or overcome. Things that don’t bother us are traumatizing to others. If Jesus, who is perfect, can be so patient and compassionate with us, we need to allow Him to help us to extend that same patience and compassion towards others.

We also need Him to comfort us and help us with our fears, which leads me on to “fearful judgment”.

Note: If you are in an abusive situation, please do the loving thing, which is to reach out for help. Here is a resource for people in abusive situations (victims of abuse) and also for abusive people who want to change. https://www.thehotline.org/ 

Fearful judgment: We’re often afraid of what and whom we’re ignorant of/unfamiliar with. We’re also often too afraid to investigate what we don’t understand… so we just judge instead. We also may have traumas in our pasts, and so when we meet people who remind us of those who hurt us in the past, or who remind us of our own troubling behaviors from our own pasts, and when we meet people who say things that trigger our insecurities, we can become critical of, or even manipulative towards them. We may sometimes try to fix the people around us when they say or do things that unsettle us so we can be at peace…but this doesn’t lead to peace. It leads to pain, strife, discord, and broken relationships. As the saying goes, “hurting people hurt people”…and sometimes very badly, I will add. There is no peace to be found in being unwilling to investigate and then believe the truth. There is no peace to be found in judging and/or manipulating people who trigger our fears and insecurities.

We need to bring our bleeding hearts to Jesus and become secure in Him. Then instead of fighting, criticizing, or controlling others, we will run to Jesus and drink deeply of His love and truth. Insecurity and open emotional wounds are constantly waiting to erupt. When triggers come along, we sometimes spew judgment, hurting those around us. But Jesus knows how to heal our souls, and as we learn to come to Him and to think His thoughts instead of our own, our insecurities and emotional wounds will calm down and heal, and our eruptions will cease. Then we will seek both to understand those who trigger us and to respect their individualities and their rights.

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In closing, the sin of unhealthy judging is a serious and damaging one, but God is able to forgive and transform judgmental people. I’m still in this process of transformation. I’ve made progress, but there is still more progress to be made, and sadly, there is progress that I am having to regain.

The safest course for all of us (I’m preaching to myself in this blog post too) is this:

“Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37 (NKJV)


Lord,

We thank You for Your merciful love and grace which You give us, as undeserving as we are. You are so merciful to us, and yet we can be so unmerciful to one another. Please forgive those of us who are guilty of having and/or expressing judgmental attitudes and please do a work of healing in the hearts of those we have wounded.

Please remove arrogance, jealousy, anger, and bitterness from those of us who have been struggling with one or all of these sins. Please provide healing from the insecurities and fears that some of us are dealing with. Please give us compassion and understanding where we need it. Thank You so much for being so longsuffering with us. Please help us all to be more longsuffering with one another. Please give us the wisdom to know the difference between being judgmental and being discerning. Please help us to be wise and loving at the same time. Please show us how to be, because we don’t know how to be without You. Thank You so much for hearing and answering this prayer according to Your will, as You have promised to do. 1 John 5:14

In Jesus’ Name Amen


I hope that this blog post has inspired all of us with hope. God wants to set us free from sin! I also am inviting you all to stay tuned for my next blog post in my series on Bible Prophecy. It will be entitled: “Bible Prophecy Studies: Daniel 10 part 2”.

Blessings. 🙂


Acknowledgments:

a) I quoted Luke 14:8-11 and Luke 6:37 from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

b) I gained some of the insights I shared in the “Impatient judgment” section from this quote.

c) Some of the insights that I shared in the “Fearful judgment” section were both confirmed by and expanded as a result of, reading this article. I don’t agree with everything in this article, but I do believe that the author makes some very accurate and helpful observations. This article was very impactful for me.

d) I also gained some of the insights I shared in the “Fearful judgement” section from watching testimonies on YouTube of former hate group members who have since left their former ways of thinking and living.

Published by loveddaughter23

I’m just a young lady who is journeying through life with Jesus. I have much to learn and unlearn and I’m so grateful to be able to be guided by God in my growing process. I desire to learn and grow forever. May I never find a complacent, stopping point! As long as I continue to humbly walk with God, I will forever be His work in progress (adapted from the "About" page on my blog learnandgrow4ever.com).

11 thoughts on “Why We Judge Others and How to Overcome This Sinful Tendency.

  1. Just read your Bible again. We are to judge righteously, but not to condemn. But we have a Biblical duty to judge and condemn, which is clearly outlined in 1 Cor 5:9-13. Again, read your Bible. And don’t judge by calling judging a sin.

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    1. Thank you for sharing. I read 1 Cor. 5:9-13 as you suggested. I firmly believe that there is a place for church discipline and that we are to call sin what it is: sin. In the post-modern age that we live in, where relative truth is popular, it can be quite unpopular with many to make a difference between right and wrong and to call out and rebuke sin. There is also a lot of cheap grace that is talked about: grace that doesn’t call for the response of overcoming sin through God’s power. If I gave the impression that I don’t believe in church discipline, or that I don’t believe in rebuking sin, then I gave an impression that I didn’t intend to give. I believe that we are living in a serious time in earth’s history where we cannot afford to treat sin lightly (and there never had been a time when anyone could afford to take sin lightly).

      Where we go wrong is when we start to judge people’s motives and when we make up our minds about what we think they do or don’t know. We also go wrong when we rebuke people in our own spirits and according to our own wisdom. We always need the Holy Spirit’s guidance when working with people, even while rightfully rebuking sin. We need to be enabled to rebuke sin when God calls us to with the appropriate amount of firmness for the individual people we’re working with. Walking in our own wisdom and projecting our own tendencies, feelings, personalities and backgrounds onto others, we’re in danger of being too harsh or even too soft. Only God knows individual hearts completely. Here are some scriptures which reveal God’s wisdom in dealing with people and sin. Isaiah 42:3-4 and John 8:1-11.

      Blessings to you. Let’s keeping looking up.

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      1. I am not here to be popular, I speak Truth when called upon by God. I deal with factual truth and not opinion.

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      2. It’s a good thing to have the nobility to stand for truth no matter whether it makes one popular or not. Let’s both just continue to spend time in God’s word and to seek His guidance. Blessings to you.

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      3. My family and I have been exploited, torn apart, abused, by people who cry “don’t judge me.” I am, after 46 years with the Lord, wary of the woke. They bite.

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      4. I’m sorry to hear about what you and your family have been through. It’s understandable that you would be “wary of the woke” as you stated. We humans can become so confused and we all have carnal natures that we need to war against with Jesus’ help. Humans sometimes do very hurtful things to other humans in the name of love. We all need Jesus so much.

        In the broken world we live in, I think that so many of us are on our individual journeys with God: processing and healing from the things that life has thrown at us. May God’s comforts, healing, and strength be with you and your family. God never misjudges anyone and He feels with us when we are in pain. Blessings to you and your family.

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      5. Thanks for your kind words. One of the swear words that was banned from our home, was “pastor.”. Bear in mind that it were the same temple crowd that shouted Hosanna, that crucified Jesus just a week later. The same crowd. It is no different today. Now try Ezekiel 9:4-7, Jeremiah chapter 7. Read that with Isaiah 30. It describes the church of today

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      6. My pleasure. Once again, I’m sorry to hear about your and your family’s pain. Regarding what you shared about the temple crowd, yes it’s tragically true that some of the very people who cried “hosanna” cried “crucify Him!” later on.

        We humans can truly be so wishy washy and we have such carnal natures. Oh! How we need to be rooted and grounded in God’s love and truth! Thank you for sharing these additional scriptures with me. I’ll prayerfully read them. Blessings to you and your family.

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      7. There is going to be a sea of faces, people hurt in church, who then left Yeshua as a result, turned their backs on Him. It is with reason that He told the temple people that they weren’t His people, as they blocked the way to Salvation for others. When someone hails a specific Bible translation or denomination, I picture Him weaving a whip. We made it easy; we just turned our backs and excluded the nasty ones from our lives. Interestingly, dogs and cats remained. If I could cause a quake to awaken the church, I would.

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      8. Thank you for sharing. There certainly are major, hurtful problems among God’s people. What you shared reminds me of this verse: “…for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 (KJV) We humans have carnal natures and we tend to judge according to our own perspectives and/or according to our selfish hearts. When we are’t allowing God to soften our hearts, we have the tendency to respect and value those whom we like and/or consider worthy, and to disrespect and/or reject those whom we dislike and/or consider unworthy.

        The world has a right to see a picture of the Savior in those who take on His name, and, tragically, many of us who carry the Christian name have let Him down and hurt people He shed His blood for. We need to allow God to guide our minds and soften our hearts at all times. Without Him, we cannot love people as He wants us to. May God’s people wake up and make as much restitution as possible by allowing God to continue to, or even begin to, transform our hearts and lives so that we can truly reflect Him and so that we can reveal that He is far better than many of us have made Him look.

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